How to Properly Wear a Gaffe

Method One: Lying down, pull the gaffe up to your upper thighs. The wide part should be facing the front, the thinner part facing the back. Put your testicles up into the hollow cavity that exists in the groin/pelvic area just above your testicles. Do this by holding each testicle and gently pushing up until you find they go up into the hollow area. Next hold the testicles in place, tuck your penis between your legs and pull the gaffe up. This method works well for wearing tight clothing. Do not try this if you have an erection, it will be painful.
Method Two: When you are not wearing tight fitting clothes, but still want a smoother appearance in the genital area, simply put the gaffe on, push the penis down flat.
Wash the gaffe in the sink with warm water, then hang to dry. DO NOT PUT THE GAFFE IN A WASHING MACHINE OR DRYER.